i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
