Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize