I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
