dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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