Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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