I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize
