Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
