i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize