i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
