Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
