return my video game
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
