is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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