Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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