Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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