If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
