You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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