Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
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