He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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