you guys were way drunker than both of me
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
