I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
