I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
