the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
