Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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