I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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