Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
