I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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