Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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