he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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