____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
