The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
