What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
