For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
