Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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