It's like a parade of train wrecks.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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