I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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