so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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