I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
