found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I AM VODKA MAN
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
