I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
