i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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