Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
