Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
