this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
