u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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