She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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