My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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