I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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