the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize