Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
