I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
