problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
