last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
