There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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