Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Are my feet made of real feet?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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