Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
