She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize
