Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
