on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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