My brain says no but my pants say off.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
