its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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